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 Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix

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BurstPhoenix
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PostSubject: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 6:55 pm

... First I would like to apoligize for putting the delay... I've been putting this off while all of you have been waiting patiently, and thats not fair. But now you shall finally have it. I just hope it was worth the wait for you, so here it is!



And so it was that the handsome brave and totally awsome BurstPhoenix did smite the fell beast with the mighty power of rock, and the people rejoiced as they chanted his name in worship-

Whoops to far. (rewinds)

"What do you mean she's a man?" Swiiss shouted at the top of his lungs.

Nope, still too far. (rewinds more)

Ah! Here we go! The first chapter!

Territory War

Declaration

By BurstPhoenix

Chapter 1 A Hazard called Phazon








Year: 5 B.P.W.E (Before Perfect World age of Enlightenment)

A tempo of thunder reverberated throughout the forest and beyond, reaching the ears of the unfortunate few to hear it, and to have the coldest of chills run up their spine. For only a monster could possibly create such a horrid noise. A monster made of steel armor, hundreds of pairs of feet, malice, and red banners said to have been stained by the blood of its enemies. And it had many. Few survived it. The Calamity.

Calamity was the oldest surviving faction, having been the most successful contributor during the second Wraith War. They were celebrated as heroes, but when they asked for the debt to them to be paid, for they felt they had lost and suffered much during the campaign, they were denied. After 15 years of depression from their own war debt their and seeing no alternative in sight, they turned to a man who seemed to be a savior. Charismatic, idealistic, and strong, the people of Calamity had indeed found a leader they could revere.

He issued a declaration of war on all of the provinces and factions that had refused to give them their due in the first place, claiming that Calamity was the only thing that had kept this world from going under. With righteous cause they seized what debts needed to be paid…and more.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Though midday, the sky was darker then it would have been at dusk, and it didn’t help Loor Lakal that harmless yet irritating droplets rejoiced as they hit her. Or at least it sounded like rejoicing to her. Stupid rain. Her fine jade hair, now darkened, was a testament to that irritation. No doubt it would become matted when dry. However the sight before her drowned out that irritation into nothingness.

The Inn of the Eagle was gone, simply, gone. She could see the framework, set ablaze, as well as the walls of the structure striped bare, leaving a naked burning corpse of an Inn. There was no sign of any bodies anywhere so she presumed that the occupiers had left long before they arrived. Which was good, she didn’t think she could take the smell of burning bodies along with the odd combination of smoldering wood with fresh rain. The cleric officer put a hand to her nose to guard against the conflicting smells all the while wondering, “Why?” Why did they even bother stopping here? What could they possibly loot? What could they possibly gain from destroying a simple inn? It was in the name of the all knowing government of Calamity, the greatest and most worthy force in this world.

Screw them.

Another was there with her mouth agape. A sense of shock and mild horror was written on her face. She had been taught to prepare witnessing such sights, but the cleric, a few years Loor Lakal’s junior, could not comprehend it until it was before her very eyes. Innocence was lost to yet another. “It’s all…” the junior cleric managed to let pass her nearly quivering lips.

“Gone. Yes Thiele I know”, the elder cleric bit her lip after saying so. She then shifted her vision to her left and gazed at a well built man with a grim look on his face, also staring at what was left of the inn. “They’re after Etherblade again”, she spoke in a somber tone.

“What was your first clue?” the warrior’s was expression still grim. He already had his hammers out, pretty sure that he was going to use them later. He looked to be in his thirties with few lines on his face and peered about his surroundings in an expert manner. Adorned in ceremonial battle robes, while holding a noticeable presence it would be clear to everyone near him that he was of someone of some importance.

Talos was a renowned officer within his, Loor’s, and Thiele’s organization. Being the most powerful blademaster he earned both the rank of executor and title of lord. So far no one in their group that wasn’t a superior officer was yet to best him in combat training and their private tournaments. But facing soldiers of Calamity was something else entirely. They weren’t mindless monsters that were easily defeated, nor were they valued comrades that would restrain from using lethal force. These people, and the term is used loosely, were breed to kill. He perceptively took in his surroundings once more.

The heavy rain and dark skies that were there only moments before had begun to let up. It was light now, and he could her it become lighter as the sway of the trees lessened, and the droplets faded away. A few pockets of the suns rays protruded from the heavens. Had he more time he would have enjoyed the sight.

“Go on reconnaissance, and report back the victor”, Loor ordered looking off into a sun pocket. Lord Talos bowed and gave her an affirmative. Loor watched as Talos closed his eyes and concentrated his energy to his feet. A sword appeared from under them and began to ascend along with the officer. Loor wondered how a blademaster could balance themselves perfectly on those things. Talos had once explained to her that the sword acted as much as a body part as an elf’s wings.

After Talos was out of her vision Loor turned back to Thiele, “Report back to base, I will join you shortly.”

Thiele nodded and took flight, leaving Loor to herself. Loor clenched her fists tightly while making a visible grimace. Though the sun was back out she could still hear the “thunder” of another storm only a few miles away. It wasn’t fair… these people did nothing wrong…now there livelihood was destroyed and on a whim! How would they afford reconstruction? Where would they live? How would they eat? How would they survive? All hail the mighty, glorious and just Calamity!

Talos found the source of the thunder, now a ravenous roar of barked orders and shouts of defiance all meshed together in an indistinguishable clamor of steel, blood, and madness. Organized madness that is.

Reaching from the gate of Etherblade down the lake was a column of men (some women) in armored uniform, awaiting their turn in each wave. Blademasters, who were not even able to take flight yet: expendables.

Talos could see blood red banners and flags waving proudly and ignorantly in the breeze, a black rock being broken into many pieces etched in the center.

Calamity.

No clerics, no wizards, venomancers or archers, few barbarians, and even fewer officers. They relied purely on numbers, wave after wave of wasted lives, for ideals that were never truly theirs.

Battering rams continued at attempting to break a makeshift wall made up of logs tied together. One would think this was a frail defense if not for the fact that there many layers of it behind the first, which the enemy was yet to break through, and that there was a wall of muscle reinforcing the barrier even further.

However by some miracle, or curse depending on you point of view, the ram seamed to be plowing through the layers of the barricade, and once that was done the enemy would have little trouble storming the city, the numbers they had would be put to its full advantage.

What they hadn’t counted on however, was a resounding and relatively uniform, “Harrah!” followed by a rain of arrows that darkened their vision forever. The losses began to mount rather quickly.

The order for retreat was inevitable. Talos couldn’t help but smile a little as he saw Equinox rejoicing their victory, which didn’t come often against Calamity. From this point in the air Talos could even see Wolfgang himself taking part in the celebration. Talos took out what looked like a simple rock, but in actuality it was what they called a telestone, used for long distance messaging. Unfortunately they weren’t exactly reliable with only fifty percent possibility that the message would be received, and often Talos would have to deliver the message in person. Still, it was convenient when it worked.

With the message sent, the seasoned blademaster turned the opposite direction he was facing and headed south. Before he went far however, he noticed something moving irregularly out of the corner of his eye. Descending to investigate he found a barbarian, a tiger breed at that, towering over a boy in a predatory fashion. He could see the barbarian sneering at the boy with discontent; it was experienced warrior too, probably even more so than Talos. This…did not bode well.

“We Calamity troops have a policy to deal with enemy stragglers”, he growled out. He had a pole in his possession pointed at the boy. After losing at Etherblade the barbarian needed something to vent on, and what better to do so then on a lone enemy soldier caught off guard?

“But I’m not with Equinox! I’m not with anybody!” the boy pleaded in vain. He held twin swords in front of him as a frail defense. Without the proper training, which he didn’t have, they would prove to be much less than useful.

“Does it look like I give a shit?”And indeed he didn’t. The barbarian raised his weapon at him to declare end game. Earlier the boy had been narrowly dodging the barbarian’s blows but the adversary was a quick learner and foiled all attempts to escape. So you can imagine his surprise when something big and heavy smashed him in the face.

Talos had dropped down to ground level to make his intervention which he knew he was most likely going to regret. The barbarian staggered for a moment and tried to recover from his darkened vision and claim vengeance on the one who did this to him. Talos hadn’t thought through what to do now, and as the barbarian regained his composure he knew this was a bad idea. Before he could react properly the brute was already swinging his pole at him, the milliseconds of instinct thought process compelling Talos to dodge along with the foe not being completely recovered yet was all that saved him.

The brute made a few more strikes at Talos in a mad rage, in which our noble blademaster had to block a few. Talos still had a major disadvantage because his opponent possessed a long range weapon and he had what was specifically short range. A few more narrow dodges with his opponent’s aim getting better, Talos finally had an idea that, though temporary, would buy enough time for an escape.

Calling on his chi Talos unleashed a wave of energy that seemed to roar as a lion would. The barbarian found himself immobilized, and vulnerable. However instead of attacking Talos scooped up the boy, much to the young one’s surprise, and took flight at breakneck speed. The stun wouldn’t last long and they needed to leave before the brute could chase them, or worse; call reinforcements.

“Hey!” the boy shouted. “What the hell?” a closer look at him and Talos discovered that he had dark skin, red hair, was probably in his later teens; sixteen-seventeen of so, and weighed a hell of a lot more than he anticipated. Talos was holding him in an awkward position that, if left unchanged, he would drop him after his strength gave out. They shifted so that the young man now resided behind Talos, holding him at the neck line which made him feel he was getting some sort of piggyback ride, and the young man didn’t enjoy that one bit. It was humiliating, riding around on a grown man on his sword…wow that sounded wrong. Talos however was just glad that they weren’t being followed after he turned his head to check.

“Where are you taking me?” the young man was rather impatient, and wanted answers to this situation.

“To a safe place kid, our base at Archosaur” Talos explained in good humor.

“Didn’t Calamity take over that place not too long ago?”

“Yes.”

“And we’re going there?”

“Yes.”

“Ok who is ‘our’ and why do you have a base there to begin with?”

Talos laughed, “I am Lord Talos, executor of the underground faction Kinetic. As for having a base in Arch why not? The best place to hide from your enemy is right under their nose.” Talos placed his index finger at his nose to illustrate.

“Wait, underground so like, know one know you guys exist?” the boy inquired.

“Until we decide to make our move, yes, that would be the correct assumption.” Talos decided to pick up a little more speed “And what’s your name by the way?”

The young man paused for a moment before speaking (a rarity I assure you), sure this guy saved his butt, but he knew just about little to nothing about him. Why should he earn his trust? Of course the only alternative was to go back…wandering the plains in search of him which was rather unproductive… What the hell? “Only if I get to join you” he finally stated.

Talos didn’t expect this kid to say something like that, and so openly after the minutes they had known each other, but he did have a certain obligation as executor, so he was more than willing to commit to it.“Sure, we’re always looking for new recruits. Now about that name?”

The boy paused again then said “Hazard, PhazonHazard.”

Talos raised an eyebrow.

“I know its weird, you don’t need to tell me that” Phazon frowned.

Talos only chuckled once again “Believe me kid I’ve heard stranger names. Welcome aboard Phaz.”


I didn't put too much detail into this chapter seeing as how most of you have already explored the areas described and the fact that you have already waited long enough, for which i apoligize again. If you noticed I put some music here before th chapter started. This will be signature thing from me because music often sets the mood for a story and helps me to write. This chapter isn't my best work but trust me, it gets a WHOLE lot better. Constructive critisismis welcome. Tell me what you think!=D And be honest, I can't write better if no one points out things for me to improve on.

Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Burstp13
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 8:43 pm

o0o... MORE MORE!!

Other than a few spelling errors (which kinda threw me off, guess I'm a little tired lol) it's awesome :D


Last edited by Takamura on Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:15 pm; edited 1 time in total
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SoulSuckHer
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 9:28 pm

All Hail BurstPhoenix, The Kinetic Historian!!!

I like it Burst. You did a good job with it. There are two or three places you put pairs of words backwards.

Look forward to the next installment.

"Go forth and write more than history...write our glorious future." HealHer
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 9:58 pm

Yay! It's really good! Can't wait for the next one of course!

i like how loor is boss =p
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BurstPhoenix
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 10:21 pm

Whoa, how did I not catch those misspells, they're so obvious! :P lol Oh well. It seems I have a following anyway so I better get crackin!

Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Burstp10
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PostSubject: OOOoooOOooO   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 11:21 pm

I likey. Can't wait for the next chapter to come up :D
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeFri Oct 16, 2009 11:42 pm

Very Happy more burst more! can't wait till the next chapter! 8)
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeSun Oct 18, 2009 3:43 pm

Woot!!! I love it Burst!! Im a hero!! Phaz u owe me lol
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeSun Oct 18, 2009 8:07 pm

awesome job burst :D

grats on being a better writer than I am =P
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeWed Oct 21, 2009 6:50 pm

I think this is great. I just have a formatting suggestion ;). Maybe reduce the number of spaces between sentences, condensing them into a solid paragraphs. With the lines spread out like that, I found it a little hard to read.


Also, because I like to try my hand at writing, can I post a sub-chapter of my character? (Even though I'm not in the faction. I will be able to start playing again in a few weeks. I am just going to re roll as a tideborn when the expansion comes out.)
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeSat Oct 24, 2009 6:14 pm

Hmmm you can post them, but on a separate thread. And what ever you post would be noncanocal to whatever I post here in order to avoid any clashing plots. It would be interesting to see something from your perspective though. So have a go at it!
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeSun Oct 25, 2009 11:51 am

I liked it alot. Can't wait to read more. Very Happy

It did raise more questions than give anwsers about the setting. (world) Since I'm comparing it with Perfect World.
Mainly about Wraiths and mobs. Is the war with them over and it's a struggle between the surviving factions?
Or is the war still raging on? Thats what went through my mind. Very Happy

Last but not least. Thank you for your hard work and making PWI more interesting to me.
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeMon Oct 26, 2009 4:52 pm

Ok Burst. What I wrote really wouldn't effect your plot anyway. Basically, I explained my absence in game through story. I will post it in a different thread.
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PostSubject: Re: Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix   Territory War: Declaration by BurstPhoenix Icon_minitimeThu Nov 12, 2009 4:42 am

i like it... more please =D
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